EN PARLANT DU PARLI-MODE

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Saturday, February 27, 2010

Budget, Fashion Week and Election Season


The budget is coming up, with ramifications to the fashion industry. So is fashion week, of equal importance. Then in Ottawa, the municipal elections are also coming up, which leads to the question- how to dress when running. We'll be asking a female and a male candidate running for office, what do they wear? On a tv interview, how do you dress, for example? As a public relations agent, I am very familiar with this problem in my line of work.

I am a former campaign manager, for a male candidate. We picked a black suit, white shirt, no tie outfit for debates, and polo shirt-khakis for casual. Here we were trying to make a young candidate look as serious as he actually was.

It is essential that the outfit and appearance isn't so off-key as to distract from your message. Some people even manage to get the outfit to add to the message, and are incredible at it. These will be interviewed.

Elegance should be effortless. Suits are wonderful and versatile. I live in them. However, there are other options for dress, and I should ask female long-time candidates what they wear

Tips: If you are the one female candidate, NEVER wear skirts lower than ankle length during debates. Why?

In community debates, there is usually a table without a table cloth that you are sit at facing a group with chairs. It cuts off the candidate's face from their legs. You see a series of black cloth, and then a pair of female legs in tights, which never looked more contrasting and distracting. This was a scenario in a couple of debates, where the men in the audience seated in the front were paying more attention to the stark contrast of the female candidate's bare legs against a sea of covered male legs than what candidates were saying. It is important that you stay on message.

On television interviews, NEVER wear red. It bleeds into the screen, can dance around, promote static, etc. You can wear a black jacket and red shirt/tie, as long as it does not touch the edges, but the least amount of that colour possible is advised. Also, do NOT wear a white shirt alone, without a black jacket. Your face will be lost, as it often resembles the screen on the back.
Ladies, no long earrings, or they will dance back and forth and distract the viewer from your message. No long necklaces or you may subconsciously fiddle with them when you are nervous, as many female CEOs are caught in this situation on television.

Your assistant should always carry a comb at all times. If there is an interview, or even talking to your constituents, and your hair looks like a mohawk combined with a magpie's nest, you can be rest assured your message will be ignored in favor of the strange new look the hat or wind created.

The key is to stay on message. Your look should not distract from your message. Men, that means you may have to wear make up. HDTV cameras are nasty and expose every flaw. If you are a man and either have a) large hollow visible pores b) visable pink or red acne c) sunburn
you HAVE to use television make-up. You want people listening to your message rather than examining the discolouration on your face, like the mole in Austin Powers III. If you are a campaign manager, do your utmost to convince your candidate. A colleague had a client with a mild sun burn that looked great in the daylight. On national television his face looked like a pink and ivory Ying and Yang symbol. He refused make up. It was his right, and he wasn't running for office, so he didn't care. When you run for office, it makes a difference if they hear the other candidate's message but forget yours entirely.

If you have redness, get a green cream conclear. Then get a foundation that offers good coverage. The best is cover-fx of any foundation for coverage. It was intially only available in hospitals for burn victims but now is available at shoppers drug mart, $40. If you are a man with only a couple of appearances, go to a shoppers drug mart in advance of the event, and ask for an assistant to apply it to you, and explain that you need television make up.

As for suit shirts, men, button up the first two buttons, keep the bottom button unbuttoned, and pull your coat tails behind you and sit on the for the best look. This way, your suit stays still and minimizes any belly, maximizes shoulders. Now one or two button suits are most current. Double breasted is the least current. What a man should avoid is wearing a tie and unbottoned suit- very distracting. As for ties, I heard rumours that pink men's ties with a green scottish plaid print are in fashion again-they are so ugly that they will distract the audience.

If you wear a pink tie, you should have Asian or African blood, so that your face is yellow or black to pull it off. Like wise, if you are Asian, avoid wearing yellows, they sallow your complexion. If you are tan or black, avoid black as it dulls the skin and looks bad enough to be distracting when close to the face. White shirt, black jacket looks amazing on dark skin. Pale ivory skin- avoid ivory shirts- they look deadly. The rule- the tone should contrast with your skin colour so that people ignore the outfit and focus on you. You do not want people to keep on wondering why is the outfit out of place.

As for women, the reverse of the rule applies to suits. Top button is open, and second is recommended. Third is closed. It is pinned back by fingers, then and sat on for TV cameras. Shoulder seams should be on the shoulders, and shouldn't move around when buttoned up. If it is all buttoned up, one looks far too stiff. For both men and women, the slim fit is the best fit. A baggy suit makes anyone not only look fatter, but too poor and clumsy to be able to afford proper clothes. Higher arm-holes add length to the torso. Nothing says I can't afford to buy a proper coat than getting one several sizes too big with arm-hole length to fit two of your arms. Ill fitting suits are distracting.

Pants- its not the length that matters, but that it doesn't display the top of your socks when you sit. The pockets should not be visible. Also, visible pantylines are distracting and unprofessional. Men, that means boxer briefs. Women wear thongs or boxer briefs.

Good news is that there are used clothing stores, Used Ottawa and Kijijji.com, Value Village that offer decent even brand name designer clothes on the cheap. If you are running for office, then you are not working and so you can't afford to splurge on clothes. It is not the outfit, but how one carries the outfit, and how it fits that makes the impression. The shape of the pant is more important than the colour or brand it should flatter you. Try on many first.

Ties- they should be proportional to the collar of your shirt, so super-wide ties go with Seventies collar shirts. Avoiding the wide extreme is best as it does look funny. There should be a dimple under the knot, and the tie shouldn't be lower than half way around your belt.

Sweaters look elegant with suits- but should always be light weight. Warm winter underwear is and one sweater is better than wearing several sweaters under the suit jacket. Never wear them over the suit jacket!

Women. Do NOT wear any fishnets. Even beige ones. They distract from the message. Keep the nails neat and tidy. Red nails are elegant, a hint of French sophistication. French manicures should be avoided at all costs!!! For those of you who don't know, they are the weapon of choice of strippers and porn stars, and will immediately associate you with that in the minds of male constituents, and even queer females. Sorry, had to pass that on. Do not wear skirts above the ankle without opaque tights. If you sit down admist mainly other male candidates, the eyes will be on your legs unless tights are opaque.

The thing a man or woman will regret the most is uncomfortable shoes. You are walking all day. Kitten heals, the one or two centimeter kind are the most comfortable. Pure flats will eat the back of your foot. Carry comfortable shoes in a bag- men this applies to you too- sneakers in a bag. Even if you don't have much money, if you invest in anything, it's comfortable shoes.

As a woman, you might be sexy, you might be beautiful, but you have to keep the focus on your message and not your body. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be feminine nor sexy. Just don't be distracting. That means red nails are okay, but not French manicure. Short skirt with thick opaque tights, but not mid length skirt with see-through tights. The only fishnets that are acceptable are when candidates from Nova Scotia are on a ship bringing the marine catch of the day. Yes, you can wear a low cut shirt, if it's a man's oxford shirt, but not a low cut v-neck that reveals most of the chest. Same length of a cut, but different look. One is sexy and the other is distracting. The sexiest thing a woman can wear is a turtle neck. It is subtle and not distracting. A woman doesn't have to be sexy, but for those who are frilly, feminine or sexy in real life need to know how to translate the look.

Finally, no long hair doesn't have to be up, but NEVER do the hair flip. again, subtle and sexy is okay, but never porno-graphic.

Do not dress too expensively, or you'll look corrupt! If you have a BMW, unless everyone else in your riding has one, hide it as much as possible. Your assistant could ride it but not you. No designer labels should be visible when near constituents. It shows taste and that you are not running to spend their money but because you care about their concerns. Similarly, head of charitable organizations, even if they have the money, shouldn't be running around in BMW while soliciting donations. This also applies to everything that you send in the mail- your literature should be on recycled paper but not too expensive or flashy so that people don't think you waste money, and in a large font, 12 point minimum, so that seniors can read it. Canada's population is aging, so it's important that seniors can read it.

Good luck running and don't forget to have fun!!!!
-Maria Al-Masani




You will be running all day and show up at several events.

Friday, February 26, 2010

US thrashed Canada in Hockey but not in style!




Our comments on "We didn't know Polo was a winter sport" were right on the money. Even Sarah Palin protested. Daughters of the American
Revolution are trying to boycott Ralph Lauren products since they claim the logo overshadows both the US and Olympic flag.Anne Coulter said that if you don't like the logo, then sponsor the team yourself. Well, Nike actually did a very tasteful rendering of American uniforms while retaining its logo.

We also have pictures of the Hudson Bay Canadian Uniforms that look more Canadian than Hudson Bay. Then of course a nice magazine cover parody of the RL uniforms.

On the left side of the political spectrum, Project Rungay commentators were equally unimpressed though more astute.

Commentor on Project Rungay:

These outfits presented the United States athletes as rich snobs, frankly. They made the team look like a 1948 yacht club.

Also, the design essentially copies from British, French, and Italian uppercrust aesthetics, thereby undermining the independent streak the U.S. tries so hard to boast in the international community
Canadian uniforms were considered patriotic and nostaglic, trying to bring out the true essence of being Canadian, the scent, the memories, the feelings, the taste. They did present a quirky independent streak.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Our correspondent from Vancouver- crazyiness

Try walking down the street.

Our correspondent from Vancouver- crazyiness


VANCOUVER-Live-

Snap! That is a scary scene near the story, don't try to even go near. Where are the hundreds of thousands of police that are supposedly there? The happy mob can be a little frightening. Not only Olympic fans, but fashion piranhas that eat glass! Will tell horror at end of story.

People may be crazy about the Olympics, but they are definately insane about the clothes!!!! T-shirts are $60, the cheapest thing out there, unless you risk your life and force yourself through the crowd into the Olympic store and buy the Oprah endorsed $20 mittens that Joe Biden wore. The reality, everything else costs about $500. You want to rent somebody's apartment in the middle of no-where for a day? $1000. Hotel rooms have been booked maybe a year ago.

Rumour has it that there are hundreds of thousands of police here to help security?!! There are maybe one or two, but the crowd is packed so dense you can barely see them!

So these crazy people the other day tried to buy stuff at those insane prices, and charged to the store in a mad frenzy, destroying the glass in a crazed stampede! Lawyers from China, businessmen from France, you name it, who would normally be sane in other circumstance lose their mind here.

Olympic Fashion Critique -Didn't know Polo was a winter sport



Olympic Update:
Team Canada A for outfits, D for logo--C+?. Team Ralph Laurenistan ....is that a country- D?


The man is not dress for mountain skiing ... that is for sure.


Ralph Lauren was given the task to design the Olympic outfits for Team USA, WINTER Olympics in Vancouver.

Here are actual photos of the team at the ceremonies. http://press.ralphlauren.com/2010_olympics/download/01_PL01241384.jpg

I couldn't tell what country they were representing. I was guessing it was somewhere near Saudi Arabia, due to the light clothing and pride in the horses.

Their official press release on their website says, and I kid you not.

“Polo Ralph Lauren has outfitted the team with a timeless look – one that fellow Americans will be proud to wear,” said Lisa Baird, USOC Chief Marketing Officer. “They truly understand the honor bestowed upon Team USA athletes who will represent our nation at the Olympic and Paralympic Winter Games in Vancouver... For more information about Polo Ralph Lauren’s partnership with the 2010 U.S. Olympic and Paralympic Teams Games please visit: http://press.ralphlauren.com/2010_olympics/ and http://www.RalphLauren.com/OlympicGames.

-- and yes that end of the quotation mark is missing in the original press release.

"Truly understand the honor bestowned upon Team USA." By putting an oversized summer pony stamp on jackets that can be seen for miles... and a tiny US flag that is barely visible? Is the “n” on bestowned archaic?

Actually maybe it is not such a sarcastic quote, as crass commercialism, capitalism and white picket fences are the three key pillars of the American dream? The fences are most essential as they are made to prevent the horses from running into the socialite ladies drinking champagne as they nibble on delicacies at the Bridgehampton Polo field in Sag Harbor. You can actually buy Ralph Lauren gear as you watch the game there, by the way.

In France, Americans have a reputation of being loud and having little taste. It is perfectly excusable for a construction worker, who, by the way makes more than a university professor in Canada. Yet, the designer of the elite, aristocracy or pseudo aristocracy should have better taste. Garbage collectors have better uniforms: at least they don't have a honking designer logo covering half their chest.

" one that fellow Americans will be proud to wear,”... What idiot would be proud to wear a shirt to the winter Olympics with half their chest obscured with a man in summer clothes strutting on a pony? There are only 4,000 polo players in the US, so maybe it is a summer preview? The outfits look many things, but the one word that they cannot be described is professional winter sports gear. That is the image the United States is exporting to the world shortly after the financial crisis. If you look at the Team USA pictures, you wonder if it is Team Nepal or Team Cambodia sending a surprising large maladroit contingent to the wrong Olympics.

Team Canada, however, is very recognizable. They have large Canadian lettering. The only problem is that the logo has a distinct resemblance to the logo of the ruling party. Is that more sinister than the giant summer sport logo for the winter Olympics of our obscure friend down south?

The same guys who did the branding for Phillip Morris and made cigarettes good for you, H&K, immortalized in the film Thank You for Smoking, with Katy Holmes are also designing the our Prime Minister's Conservative Party's branding campaigns to get him re-elected. When multi-party government consisting of four political parties hands out funding, a Conservative member of parliament holds up a giant lottery cheque with a blue version of the Canadian Olympic logo on it even though it's not their money. "Pork barrel and proud of it, even if there is no pork in the barrel we can pretend I'm a porker!" Is that more crass or the Ralph Lauren logo remains to be seen.

Both signal arrogance. If you look at the press release for Ralph Lauren, exhibit A, you'll see what I mean.
"New York, N.Y. – Polo Ralph Lauren.." Agghh.. AP stylebook, like hello, says that place lines are capitalized, and the big cities do not need the name of the province or state after them, such as "NEW YORK - ". My wire company wouldn't let me post the press release if I made this mistake- they'd call me and change it. Their lead paragraph is freaking 68 words!!! And we are taught that 40 is a lot!!!! 68 is actually twice 35 words that a lead paragraph should have. Journalists read it only because it's Ralph Lauren. At least it is followed by a quote.

"and a traditional wool hat adorned withAmerican flag adding a distinct feel of patriotic spirit." -Adorned with an American flag because that is the country the athletes are representing you silly!

Also, has their writer heard of the no-adjective rule in News stories. In the ideal world, you write a press release like a news story so that the report can actually use it without wasting time mucking around. If it wasn't Ralph Lauren, they'd be looking at the next release. Hiring a professional to write press releases for such a large brand is a sign of respect. For Further information doesn't give a contact email nor phone, which makes it sound all the more aloof, user unfriendly and arrogant.

In the lead paragraph, "February 12, 2010" is a major style error!!! It's Feb. 12, 2010! http://www.scribd.com/doc/2664713/Associated-Press-AP-Style-Guide-the-basics

I'll give you the lead paragraph which is just not journalist writing. It makes those poor guys who receive 100-500 emails a day do extra work. I highlighted the mistakes in red and bolded the worst offenders.

"New York, N.Y. – Polo Ralph Lauren celebrates the commencement of the 2010 Olympic Winter Games in Vancouver with in unveiling of the official U.S. Opening Ceremony Parade Uniforms to be worn on February 12, 2010. As the proud outfitter of the U.S. Olympic and Paralympic Teams, the Company has designed the Official Opening Ceremony andClosing Ceremony Parade Outfits as well as a unique collection of village wear apparel and accessories.

http://press.ralphlauren.com/2010_olympics/Download/Ralph%20Lauren%20Olympic%20Press%20Release.pdf
If they spend that much money in image and branding, they might as well hire someone who can actually write a press release.

As for the American Olympic Association... they should be careful who they associate with. This choice was so bad that the team doesn't look serious. I know it's not NFL, but the world is watching here, so please. We understand U.S. invaded Iraq, but now is not the time to use an arrogant brand on a world stage, as the world thought the U.S. repented.

This is arguably worse than Lindsey Lohan's collection for Ungaro. Yes, big name, but so breathtakingly inappropriate that it causes more damage than good to the brand. However, if one looks at the Canadian Olympic logo, coordinated with that of the ruling party who prorogued parliament because --many believe-- they didn't want to listen to the torture inquiry... there are arguably worse offenders out there than Ralph Lauren.

Considering that Soviet Russian athletes wore their ruling party's logo, I would think H&K would be smarter than to advise the Conservatives to reference Soviet Olympic fashions. Fashionistas around the world dwell on obscure references. If I were in charge of image of the Conservative Party of Canada, I would be up in arms against the Olympic logo, as it is just bad branding. Bad enough to lose a copyright law-suit in court.

-Jacqueline Joubert

Have your say: Are the Ralph Lauren Logos appropriate? Canadian Olympic logo?


Saturday, February 13, 2010

RIP Lee McQueen, Olympics


As you all know, the Olympics came off to a tragic start, with the death of Lee McQueen, designer of Alexander McQueen. Then the death of the young Georgian luger. Then the near death experience of the torch

The worse the start, the better the finish as they say. Canada had it's first Olympic medal. First we have to pay tribute to the unique genius of Lee McQueen, the designer of Lady Gaga's infamous lobster shoes, and then get on with our first Olympic fashion critique.
Below is a homage to Foucault and Derrida in the deconstruction of a groom's suit...into a bride.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_HHa8T6xQo&feature=related
This is one of the most breath-taking moments in fashion: hologram of Kate Moss. Even for those like me who do not see anything in Kate Moss http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cou04-vOZx8&feature
He was a magician that could pull off some of the most extra-ordinary shows fashion has seen in recent years. Yet, his work is like a Monet. Beautiful at the distance, but hard to appreciate on the rack given the stunning visuals of the show you had just seen from afar. That is it? Did spectacle die in fashion with McQueen? With no apparent heir, this makes his passing even more tragic for fashion itself. Our thoughts lie with his family and with the family of the Georgia luger.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Parlez a Parli-mode



Parliament. Merriam-Webster:

Pronunciation: \ˈpär-lə-mənt also ˈpärl-yə-\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French parlement, from parler [to speak]
Date: 13th century

1 : a formal conference for the discussion of public affairs; specifically : a council of state in early medieval England 3 a : the supreme legislative body of a usually major political unit that is a continuing institution comprising a series of individual assemblages b : the British House of Commons

Origin of Parler= latin, verbe intransitif
(latin ecclésiastique parabolare, de parabola, parole)-to speak

Origin of Mode= (latin modus, manière)

Parli-mode= speak fashion

If fashion in Canada had a voice...how would it sound?

Fashion is a value added product of the secondary and tertiary sectors of the economy that generates much more money than the primary sector of simple resources such as trees and unrefined oil. Canada has more trees than Sweden can ever dream of, yet it is IKEA that is exported around the world. It can employ scores of people and generate huge revenue as an export industry, but fashion is simply under-promoted in Ottawa. If Canadian fashion had a voice, it would be of the most refined jazz singer who sang in the lounges of New Orleans, waiting to be discovered.

What are the politics of fashion, and what is the fashion of politics? That is what this blog aims to discover.